No place like _____.

Ever since I started attending UCSC, my parents moved out of our home and got an apartment to feel a little more comfortable. Sadly, there is not place for me over there considering that it's not a very spacious place. Yeah so I was thinking what is a home? Can I call my temporary dorm room my home? This is what dictionary.com said:

home:
the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.

=(

According to dictionary.com, I am homeless.

Hmm..

Anyways, on a semi-happier note, I ran five miles in 45 minutes! For all you cross country people, I haven't ran five miles straight without peeling over from an asthma attack ... ever! Woo! And I could have kept going if I hadn't gotten sick of my two Beyonce songs. I feel like my heart is healthier.

MIA and 420

I figured M.I.A. (the artist) and 420, would go hand-in hand.

So M.I.A. came out with this new video called "Born Free" (I'm not going to post it because it's way too violent and explicit) and this video has begun to spark so much controversy! At one point there is a little boy getting his skull blasted by a soldier and you see this in slow motion... also there's a boy running for his life and then you see his body exploding into chunks, again in slow motion. Where is the line that determines if this is too far? As for M.I.A., you never cease to surprise your audience.

April 20 - UCSC's biggest celebrated holiday (sadly)

So that morning on my way to class, people were actually saying "Happy Holidays" and I just thought to myself "This is where I am paying thousands of dollars to get an education.. " HA. Anyways, UCSC is known for 420, and every year thousands of students (YES, THOUSANDS!) meet in a meadow in the west side of campus. At 4:20pm they all smoke weed. (side: I don't smoke). I thought it'd be interesting to go my first year of college and see why it's a big deal, so I went, but after being there for 1 minute, I left... overrated.

Here's a video.

Rev. Al Sharpton

"I didn't know I was under-privileged until my college professor had a lecture on urban education. I never though I was under-privileged growing up because my mother told me all the great things I had, not the things I didn't have."

Everything New

In the past 2 months:

1. I have been to New York!
(this was the pub that inspired the writer of How I Met Your Mother!)
2. Been to New Jersey. Stayed in the charming city of Rahway!



3. Learned how to make ringing sounds with a wine glass

4. Rode on a motorcycle

5. I had my first VALENTINE :)
my charming boyfriend took me to such a nice place :) it's called shadowbrook!

(deeelicious salmon)

That was a general recap. The past 2 months have been a very unfamiliar start to this new decade. It was about time...

Now! I am going to be off to try and actually live my life! Seize the day, be unconventional, and I will post more later!


-Esther

New Years!!

Knowing myself, I have to write things down in order for it to mean something.

1. God is a priority.

2. Work on not being apathetic. Apathy = ignorance and arrogance.

3. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
this is what I want to live by every single day for the rest of my life. I've realized that throughout my life, you change people mostly through your own actions. It's beautiful in so many aspects because you know what love truly is when you have learned to be patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, humbled, not rude, not self-seeking, slow to anger, and forgiving.

Be patient. Everything happens for a reason. It may seem like a long time during the hard times, but it passes. Dad was distracted and gone for almost 12 years and look what had to happen in order for him to be the father he is today. World's greatest dad. Love is patient. God works in strange ways.

Be kind. Kindness repays you so well, yet do not expect any kindness in return. Be kind because you want to be kind, not because you feel obligated. Kindness is a trait that is undermined in society, yet when you experience it and see it, it never ceases to awe people. Love is kind.

Love does not envy. This is what I must work on a lot. I am envious when it comes to things I feel like I should have because "I deserve it," but if you think about, what do we actually deserve?. Still, envy is what will slowly kill a person. How can you be content if you are envious. Love does not envy.

Love is not proud. Pride is a self-inflicting weapon. Satan was an angel that was cast down because of his pride.

Love is not rude. LOVE IS NOT RUDE. As a Christian, I have to set an example to everyone around me through my daily life. Why not start with being polite?

It is not self-seeking. Do not mistake this for "please other people." This is talking about sacrifice. Learn to get out of your comfort zone to follow what God is telling you. Put others before yourself.

It is not easily angered. Being slow to anger is what I have been working on for the past couple months now. It goes hand in hand with patience, yet it requires a much higher level of understanding and compassion. I am going to continue working on this because I realized that being slow to anger exemplifies so much love. I hope that I can radiate this type of love as God has continued to regardless of my lukewarm faith.

It keeps no record of wrongs. Forgive and forget. Forgetting is hard, but I have to learn. Forgiving and forgetting go hand in hand. One can't fully forgive, if they don't fully forget. If people do change for the better, which they do, then by burdening them with their previous actions, you stall their progress. Forgive and forget not only for your own benefit, so that you don't hold any bitterness, but so that the other can continue to progress and learn, not be held down.

This was my personal New Years resolution list. What's yours?

You are a soul.

"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."
-C.S. Lewis

I have this mentality that if I make sure that I take care of my body and "treat it as a temple" that was all that I needed. But what good is your body if you don't take care of your soul? I've forgotten that aspect of myself, it's always been that my body HAS a soul, but it's the complete opposite. It is what came first, and what will continue to live when the other dies. I've focused so hard on taking care of my something that is so easily damaged and short-lived. ANYWAYS, my point is, I've relied too much on taking care of my body, when my soul is in desperate need of repair.

I always knew I was insecure growing up, and I realize that it's all really unnecessary. How can you base your insecurities or securities on what others say about you? It's not Hollywood's hegemonic "perfect" look that should make you feel insecure, or someone calling you "beautiful" that should make you conceited. In this way, you have to keep yourself accountable. So if I do praise you, don't let it get to your head. Random rambling gets ugly. Sorry.

=)

Differences between SoCal and Santa Cruz

1. "HELLA"... this word is used to basically replace words like "very" and "a lot." It's amazing how norcal people find a way to use "hella" after every other word.

2. Socal people use words like "bomb" and "sick" they abuse the words "dude" and "man." I got the strangest stares from a group of Bay Area kids when I said "Dude this food is freakin' bomb!"

3. When someone is really really ugly, norcal people say the word "hurt" instead of the socal term, "beat."
ex:
Socal native: "Dang, that girl is beat!"
Norcal native: "That girl is hella hurt!"

4. The weather. The air is so ridiculously fresh and clean in the santa cruz/monterey area that my nose burns every time I breathe the morning air. Seriously, I had to get candles, insense, and humidifier to pollute my room up a little. Norcal air is like guaranteed pneumonia for the socal native.

5. Santa Cruz people are WEIRD. Everyone is a freaking activist protesting "unjust" cause. Seriously, they will protest the death of you if you don't recycle.

6. Socal is a bit more stuck up, but I have to say, the people in socal have an attraction level several notches higher than norcal.

7. Socal = conservative, Yes on 8
Santa Cruz= liberal (x1000000) , NO on 8! (exclamation included)
let's just say that I've been seeing bumper stickers all over UCSC that says "Keep Santa Cruz Weird, Keep Santa Cruz Queer!"

8. Santa Cruzis a hike. Seriously, living in northern california made me realize how boonie it was. People here tend to do things like mountain bike, hike. walk trails, climb trees, and tie-dye shirts. Socal on the other hand has a wider range of things to do.

9. Norcal is very hilly. 17 freeway, NUFF said.

10. They have way more nude beaches in norcal and nudity is not as big of a deal as in socal. For example, Santa Cruz is known for the yearly First Rain Naked Run. And let me tell you, it really is what it sounds like. Socal on the other hand is known for things like Undie Runs... and even with the undie run, it's not allowed to be done unless for a reasonable cause. Socal's reasonable cause: clothes taken off prior to the undie run is donated to charity.

11. In Santa Cruz your friendly neighbors just happen to be a nice family of deers. As you take the hike to get to your class, you pass a deer eating less than 10 feet of you in the big redwood forest. At night, we're afraid to eat a sandwich by a pack of raccoons because there's a 75% chance you will get mugged.

12. Socal people tend to be more loud and obnoxious, whereas norcal people are more laid back and "chill." The bad thing about Santa Cruz is, though they are really open-minded, they are very awkward. Socal people on the other hand are much more likely to be more social.

13. The style up here is so different. People in socal dress 100xs better, but they worry about their looks too much. Norcal people are more for that "hippie" look with the dirty rasta look. Socal is more of clean-cut L.A. look with dark levi's (for guys) with a very groomed look.

14. Weed. Santa Cruz loves its weed. They scoff at socal kids when they talk about weed. Norcal is notorious for its leniency on its cannabis laws. Also, the weed in norcal is way stronger than the grass that they have in socal.

15. In socal you can get away with wearing short shorts and a tube top about 330 days out of the year. In Norcal, you can almost get away with wearing short shorts and a tubetop 15 days out of the year.

16. Everyone rides the freaking bus in Santa Cruz!!!

17. Socal has way more diverse people. For example, the korean population in norcal sucks. The Asians in norcal are generally Vietnamese (San Jose) or Chinese (San Francisco).

18. Norcal is the reason why Obama won his presidency.

Personally, I might be biased because Santa Cruz is really weird, but honestly, places a few miles north in the San Jose area are fairly similar to SoCal with a really nice crowd. But I still prefer socal, it's generally a more intimate place (excluding LA) and I'm a sucker for the beaches.

I had a horrible dream today. I dreampt of 5 people that died in the past 7 months. I can't even write to you what happened.

males and females being civilized, strictly platonic, friends.

I heard that it's impossible to be JUST friends with the opposite gender. Eventually, one person... or both persons, will have romantic feelings. This is an interesting comment to me considering I have a lot of male friends. I can see what they mean though. Even if it's for a split second and one or the other (or both!) even have a romantic thought it almost destroys the whole point of JUST FRIENDS.

*Tissue Warning*

Interpreting Body Language

I was talking with a friend yesterday about how body language is 90% communication thus people know more about you than you actually tell them. Here's a basic analytical point of view of interpreting body language. It might not be 100% true but it's based on the general human population. There are always exceptions, this is almost like a heads up.

Before I actually put up this post, I just want to say that it's cool to actually read what a psychotherapist writes because I know we all know how to read some body language, I mean sometimes it's obvious when someone's interested in you or hates you, etc. Anyways it's always interesting to actually read about it and become more aware of it... just think of it as brushing up on your body language skills.

Here are some example of basic body language interpretation:
Give Some Examples

I have done some of this above, but will offer some classic "body signals" and their meanings.

* Little or no eye contact--closed--off, uninterested, uncomfortable, not trustworthy and/or hiding something

* "Flat" expression--bored, preoccupied, anxious, uninterested and/or annoyed

* Leaning away from the other person--trying to get distance, uncomfortable, wanting to move away from the person and/or a desire to cut off communication and/or get distance

* Arms crossed--closed position that usually indicates discomfort, defensiveness, seeking distance

* Pursed or parted lips--flirting, likes what they see

* Quizzical look--interested, wants to know more

* Touching their own face, ears--attraction to another person

* Turning away from the other person when sitting or standing--seeking distance, uncomfortable

* Legs/arms tucked in tightly when sitting with someone--closed in, secretive, uncomfortabl.

There's a lot more, just check out some of these websites.
http://www.wordofmouthexperiment.com/articles/body-language/interpreting-body-language-ease

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Read-Body-Language---Interpreting-Body-Language-Signs-For-Better-Communication&id=1436440

http://articles.directorym.com/Interpreting_Body_Language-a1010755.html

Common Misunderstanding about Liars

I read this in a forum.

"This is how to detect someone lie.

Notice the person's eye movements. Contrary to popular belief, a liar does not always avoid eye contact. Humans naturally break eye contact and look upwards when remembering something. Liars may deliberately make eye contact to seem more sincere. Liars also tend to blink more often. A typical right-handed person tends to look towards their left (your right) when remembering something that actually happened (remembered images, sounds and internal dialogue) and towards their right or downwards (constructed images, sounds and kinesthetic sensations) when they're making something up.

Be sensitive to the person's emotional expression.

Timing and duration tends to be off when someone is lying. Emotions can be delayed, remain longer than usual, then stop suddenly. Likewise, they might not match appropriately with verbal statements. And, as with smiling, facial expressions of a poor liar will be limited to the mouth area.

Pay close attention to the person's reaction to your questions. A liar will often feel uncomfortable and turn their head or body away, or even subconsciously put an object between the two of you. Also, while an innocent person would go on the offensive, a guilty person will often go immediately on the defensive."

the captivatings

+

=

This was a compilation of two of my favorite movies. Seriously, it's ridiculous how similar they were. The introduction has a complete Amelie-esque feel to it, don't get me wrong, I loved it! And then the whole story seemed the have the same editing style of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's quite depressing though. Zooey Deschanel is the cutest mctooty ever and Fox Searchlight's crave for indie films has been rewarded with this amazing sundance film festival winner. When all hope is lost in the media, movie's like this come out and give you hope. Not to mention the just-as-good soundtrack that this brilliant movie goes hand-in-hand with.

My new favorite song is Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap.

Craigslist

I've been trying to business over craigslist. It's not working very well...
I'm going to be broke for the rest of summer. It's okay though because I just paid 40 bucks for Mario Party n64 and I just bought a sick audio system/record player set. Come to my house so we can rock out to some Rolling Stones.

If anyone's interested I'm selling a turntable, a ipod dock sound system, and a stereo receiver. Let me know! They're going for ridiculously good prices.

Sun Tattoo

Cool. Partial skin damage.

Good for the Soul

A.C. Newman's cover of Ah-Ha's "Take On Me" rocks!

A.C. Newman - Take On Me by thecalypsokids

44 - Cat Power - I Found a Reason by thecalypsokids

01 - Feather (ft. Cise Starr & Akin From Cyne) by thecalypsokids

Passion Pit - Little Secrets by thecalypsokids

Avoir un bon jour.

The next hot item on my list: Derringer Bikes

This is from the Derringer Bike's website

• "Derringer is the neo-classical interpretation of a 1920's era board track racing motorcycle, but that's not all.

This revolutionary moto-hybrid was conceived as an exciting new option in highly-efficient transportation. Derringers can be human propelled, propelled via engine power, or human propelled with the assistance of engine power. While under power, the pedals can also remain stationary, allowing you to operate in the style of a traditional motorcycle. Capable of fuel economy ratings that can exceed 150 mpg, Derringers are the first product to take the compromise out of environmentalism, clearly evidenced by the number of customers who purchase a Derringer along with an in-home display stand.

Derringers were specially designed to conform with the legal classification of a motorized scooter, and in their standard configuration, often do not require the motorcycle license endorsement that is necessary to operate traditional scooters and motorcycles in many states. In some states and countries, as long as the rider is over 16 years of age, no drivers license is required.*

The Derringer was created by world-renowned industrial designer
Bio Link , whose clients range from celebrities including Brad Pitt and members of the Royal Family, to design-forward companies such as Sony®, Reebok®, and Hewlett Packard®. Heralded as a genius by Sony®, his extraordinary creations have been featured in publications ranging from Forbes® to Variety®, and on television shows seen around the world.

When he set about creating a revolutionary class of efficient personal transportation, he envisioned the perfect urban vehicle as the missing link between his Ducati® and his Schwinn®. He knew, after looking at the failure of recent personal transport projects, that if he was going to draw people out of the familiarity and comfort of their cars, an argument for efficiency alone would not suffice.

Something very important was missing from the failed projects of other companies: Style. With that in mind, he set out to create a product that was cool; the fact that it achieved 150 mpg would simply be an afterthought. After months of studying state and federal transportation regulations, he came up with a formula for efficient, safe, and fast transportation.

The design process was next, and the athletic image of the board track racer inspired him. Its clean design provided the vision to keep his product light; less displacement and fuel would be needed for the same superior performance. Its large wheels and wide balloon tires would translate to saftey in an urban environment littered with potholes and other road hazards. Its pedals, originally used only to start the engine, could now create a hybrid drive system, allowing the rider to travel either under his own power, or with the assistance of an engine. Above all, its design was pure.

From the white tires, manufactured without the use of carbon black, to the hand made leather saddles with hammered copper rivets, each Derringer is a beautifully crafted objet d' art. The finished product is a pure vintage racer, reimagined for a concrete jungle."

Fear

James McAdam created this safe table because in London, people sleep with a defense weapon because of their fear of intruders.

things to be discussed

1. Raves are all ages. How come that sounds so wrong?

2. Coldplay ... disbanding?! With the re-banding of Blink 182, another band must be sacrificed...

3. Twitter. Tweeting? Tweeted...?! 'nuff said.

4. Michael Jackson. From "child-molester" to greatest mourned human being of the 21st century. Strange.

Not much of a discussion, but just somethings that I was thinking about.

So I've been watching this show, and this has been the highlight of the second season. SO FUNNY.

On a more serious note, the automatic time-stop feature on my dryer is broken so all my clothes shrunk.

A million things...

Life is passing me by as I speak. I don't even my first week of summer.

I just want to share some things with you:

1. I swear, whoever they hired for Gilette's new slogan was money well spent. What guy doesn't want to go buy a Gilette Quatro when they hear "When there's no underbrush, the trees look taller."



2. I love covers.
"Don't Know Why"


"Stand By Me"


This is my list of things to do.
1. Get motorcycle license
2. Fly my kite.
3. Make a movie.
4. Start/finish my photo album.
5. Go to an expo.