25 Random Things About Me

1. I am a compulsive liar. I lie about the simplest most unnecessary things. I test my wordsmith and scheming skills so that one day I'll catch myself in a web of lies so intricate that only the Chuck Norris of liars will be able to weave yet another intricate set of lies to get out of it. It's something that feels natural. I'm not flaunting, simply warning.

2. When I was in first grade I got sent to the principal's office for playing thumbwar with Yvanna. Mrs. Leboutti (Le Booty) then told my father to come pick me up because I was so annoying. A month later, my teacher gave me a student of the month because she felt compelled to right her wrong. That was my one and only student of the month... up until September 2008.

3. Volleyball is my anti-drug. If I don't play, I feel antsy. I love getting battle scars from court-burns and every time I dig a ball I feel like doing the Carlton Dance.

4. I was FAT in elementary. Entering junior high I was 5'3 and 125 lbs. A month into junior high I grew an inch and went down to 95 lbs. A month later I stood at 5'6 and I still weighed 95 lbs. No, I did not have an eating disorder. I simply walked home from school. Babyphat!

5. I am magnetically attracted to the color purple, especially that deep royal purple. Whenever I see purple I want to touch it.

6. My goal in life is to barely get by. Barely getting by seems like it would bring so much more happiness. I fear becoming rich and successful because of Hollywood. Living in a snug cottage home with a significant other would be the simplest most satisfying life I could ever ask for.

7. I am a very vengeful person. The thing is, I don't get hurt easily.

8. I draw my subconscious thoughts on everything. I tend to doodle trees and eyes too. If I'm thinking of going to Border's to study, I begin to write it without knowing. If my thoughts are then interrupted by something else such as the words "President Obama" then I'll end up writing something like BordisentObama. True story, happened today.

9. Cellulite terrifies me! I think that's why I am constantly at the gym. I care about my body too much.

10. Most of the time, I dream in 2-D and can never really remember my dreams. When I do dream in real life, they're very vivid and read and usually have something to do with a past-time setting or a futuristic setting and it almost always involves a slow painful death.

11. I am emotionally and romantically inept. I am a horrible girlfriend and I prefer platonic love. Oh and I have this weird insecurity where I start off with an unrequited crush and it no longer becomes unrequited, but mutual, that's my cue to stop the madness. Haha I'm a strange girl.

12. I hate feet. I hate cold feet. I hate when cold feet touch me. I hate it when people touch my feet. Feet is Hate. Hate is feet.

13. I think everyone is so weird. I think the High School food chain is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot wait to give everyone a big fat reality punch once they realize that they peaked in high school.

14. My mom got an email warning from the government or something because I pirated every Arrested Development episode onto my computer. And I downloaded a couple pf movies and a bunch of songs. I didn't know that they actually regulated. Apparently the fine is up to $10,000 dollars per movie.

15. I've had two Maltese, but of which I got for free, both pre-owned by Korean families, both ran away within a couple of months. Maltese are stupid.

16. I've always wanted to go to Venice, Italy! Sadly, I've never been out of California, or remember being out of California... except Vegas which DOES NOT count.

17. My mom has sheltered me immensely throughout my childhood and has restricted me to the point where I thought I would become a convict by 14. It has taken me 17 years to wear her down and I think I've done a pretty damn good job.

18. I was a fat little slut in 2nd grade. I just didn't know it. On Halloween I wore a sheer tutu and a see through spandex shirt. I only had my underwear on and from a distance you couldn't even see my tutu. Nobody said anything...

19. When I was five I ran into a knifey object which cut right next to my eye. I got eleven stitches and if the knife was half a centimeter closer to my eye, people would be calling me "Crazy Eyes"

20. I am the friends-zone girl. I am the queen of friends-zone. This is my house! And I love it! I know things about guys that no girl should ever know and I can read them from the inside out. Guys aren't much of a mystery to me and I kind of like it that way.

21. I am going to wear the golden ping pong paddle I won in the ping pong tournament at school when I walk at my graduation. Joseph and Esther Ping Pong Champs FOSHO.

22. I am a heavy sleeper. I sleep through earthquakes, alarm clocks, phone calls, conversations, and everything else noisy. When I sleep, scientists say that my body is equivalent to a vegetable.

23. My taste buds love quality and expensive food. My taste senses should be in a lab being tested for supernatural abilities. I love food and I can taste the difference between a brown cow and a white cow, Sparklets water and Arrowhead water, etc. etc. I appreciate everything from fine dining to exquisite home made dishes.

24. I am a very mediocre person. I am mediocre at everything, but I don't mind much because I'm well rounded. Because of my mediocrity, I try and use my personality to stand out. I guess that's the real getter in the end. I love being different, I love being called weird, strange, eccentric, and I feel like I should be doing something extraordinary.

25. I live by the codes in Scrubs and Arrested Development. I find that those two shows are the most funniest shows every created and I sometimes pretend I am in the show living life on the set. K, not really, but I do think that Scrubs and Arrested Development are the epitome of genius.